First, allow me a moment here:
Sooo welcome back to the Azaria/Terrano/Kosmokos household! Here's the current line-up from left to right: there's Lychee the servo maid, next to him wiccan vampire and resident HBIC Codex Terrano, and then Salem, my super goth heir. On the couch, you have puppy-eyed founder Fenix Azaria with his badass ex-SCIA husband Bela (MY FOREVER OTP), their grandson, alien rock star Vork Kosmokos (Codex' twin brother) and his hotass wife Ellen, Salem's parents.
Boy, did that read way more confusing than I thought it would? I'll say yes. XD
Anyway, I didn't update for a while because I was getting seriously bored. I love this family to pieces, but there were way too many Sims for me to control (yeah, I'm a wimp), so I basically played an ISBI where everyone was pretty much doing whatever they wanted. Only, everyone in this house is so skilled, highly functional and happy that nothing ever happened. D:
Codex kept dating mortals and worked at becoming a Level 10 Spellcaster with her adorable witch set …
… everyone was crushing on the help … (Seriously, they all want him. I was watching Bela and Fenix like a hawk because I'm not ruining their marriage this late in the game, no Sir) …
… they're repairing their own shit because everyone has six bazillion skill points …
… they glitch the fuck out …
… and they harvest healthy organic food from their own garden with Fenix' gold badge.
Even their apple tree is fucking ecstatic. I feel like no tree should reasonably be this happy. About anything.
I mean, look at this shit. All I'd have to do is slap a cereal box on there and it'd be a Cornflake Commercial.
Oh wait. You guys weren't BFFs yet? Holy crap.
All that bliss was really starting to wear me down, and at the same time, I love this family way too much to ruin their charmed life only for the sake of drama and entertainment. And I couldn't even move forward with finding Salem a spouse/something to do, because I needed less Sims in this house, not more. Like, desperately.
So naturally, Codex got pregnant.
Yeah. No logic at all went into that decision. >_<
Lychee (who is named after the robot in Lychee Light Club, but may be perhaps 5% better-looking than his counterpart) isn't the dad, since he's a servo and all, but he's literally Codex' favorite thing to do, so I made him ditch the butler duds and gave him a hipster make-over. Even though I feel he now should be re-named "Shawn" or something.
Tbh, I intended him to be her boytoy at best, but she's really really into him. They sneak out to shag in the photo booth all the time.
Look at how she looks at him! Aaaw. Game programming.
So because I have no room for more babies or spouses, Salem The Eyeless Wonder is on reserve right now, having the longest teenhood anyone's ever had in this family. I call him The Eyeless Wonder because he totally used to have eyes and now he doesn't anymore. Which probably means he shouldn't be my heir since there's potentially something really wrong with him, but eh. I'm a trusting person.
You can tell how goth Salem is because he wants his parents to turn into vampires really badly. But that's not happening. I really don't need more immortals on this lot.
Salem's cute, but he's also a little dull. He's shy and sweet. One time he got bitched out by Ellen because he tried to sneak out on a date with his BFF Klaus, but that was like, the most dramatic thing that happened.
Salem invited Klaus over the next day, and look who he brought along! Jason! The Jason Todd! From my Batfamily household! I got way excited. I have to admit that I'm not very happy with my Batfamily Sims, but I love Jason!Sim to bits. He somehow immediately skyrocketed into my pantheon of Sims I completely adore, with Fenix, Bela and Codex.
Unfortunately, Salem a) found him horrifically unattractive and b) didn't want to discuss handcuffs with him, which was seriously the first topic that Jason came up with.
(Please note Fenix and Bela in the background. They're both really exhausted and have to pee real bad, BUT PLAYING CATCH WITH YOUR BOO IS ALWAYS PRIORITY. I can't with these two. ♥)
Jason's dream of actually having friends was initially crushed because Salem only had eyes for ~*~Klaus~*~.
But then Salem had a heart and chatted with him about how his aunt totally is this cool vampire and his dad used to be a cool vampire too, but he totes got over it.
Jason: "…You have a dad?"
Then he hit the bar and made himself a drink. Have I pointed out yet that I love him?
Inspired by that, I invited over the entire Wayne household. My favorite One Percenter Bruce Wayne immediately killed the mood by relating that hilarious story about how his parents died and left him all their money.
Fenix: "Haha yay he makes me uncomfortable…"
And then, he turned down Fenix' welcoming gift of home grown tomatoes. (And they're delicious! I mean, they're pixels so you can't actually eat them but the game tells me they are!)
Bruce: "We don't take handouts."
Bruce, the "inappropriate" trait is in Sims 3. What are you doing.
Anyway, the visit had to be cut short for practical reasons.
Dick: "Hey, nice to meet y-"
Bela: "GTFO our property. You're lagging the lot."
A while later, Salem struck conversational gold with Monika, Klaus' little sister and the daughter of Eric and Tito, Fenix' and Bela's friends/fuck buddies from college.
Monika is pretty adorable and she's also cool and experienced, because she's already lost her virginity to Salem's older brother Virgil in his parent's bed and now I've grossed myself out.
Interlude: I've made Eric and Tito their own hip little condo in the neighborhood, to move into with their creepy, uncanny valley offspring. Here you can see their creepy youngest, Golo, being creepy with the new kitten.
Golo: "I WILL EXPERIMENT ON YOU 8D"
So now Eric and Tito can resume canoodling in their new digs, regardless of whether or not their daughters are playing hacky sack in the vicinity.
Okay seriously Erica, now you're not even doing anything. Take a hint.
Back to Salem and Monika. I won't lie, they are pretty cute together; but they'd have the most samey looking kids ever. Or would they? Hmmm…
However, Salem's days as a teen were rapidly coming to an end, so I've sent him away to hang in the Sim bin until I'm greenlighting him for college. I like to imagine he went to Transylvania on a vision quest or something. ^^
And in time, too, because BABY. Groan. Why did I let this happen?
Codex: "Fresh baby, my favorite!"
Codex: "You shall rule the earth one day, and your name shall be Vlad."
(BTW, I have no idea why that kid turned out so pale. Codex used to have green skin and the father, Dude From College, is a S4. So. No idea.)
With a new kid in the house, things were finally looking a little more like what I perceive as normal, that is, foul-smelling and disorganized!
Fenix: "Wait, did I order that?"
Vlad: "I like this one. He knows how to take care of me."
Vlad: "Wait --"
Vork isn't the only one. I mean, sure, where else could you possibly put him?
I'm kidding, Vork is a great uncle, as he should be with 10 nice points! Here you see him making BFFs with Vlad before his mother does, 'cause that's how he rolls.
Toddler time. :D
Codex: "Man, I could like, nail 5 dudes right about now…"
He's a little bland, but Codex likes him, so.
Even though it's not his kid, Lychee loves taking care of Vlad. Actually, it's kinda hard to make him not take care of Vlad, like when he brings him 5 bottles of milk while he really needs a bath, or when he reads to him while he really needs a nap. Why are Sims so obsessed with reading to kids?!
Some toddler cuteness! I have a bad tendency to ignore spouses, but I really like Ellen.
Toddlers, ghost dogs, y'know, same old.
Speaking of ghosts, here's Albee (Vork's and Codex' dad), keepin' it real. He's awesome. He almost never haunts anyone, all he does is hang out and clean. Albee ♥
And now … I have a confession to make. Originally, my title card for this update was going to be this:
Because I was bored, I had way too many elderly platinum Sims who were good at everything, I was running out of room, and … as much as I loved them, I knew that in order to move forward with this story, I needed some of them to die.
But I couldn't bring myself to use it. Because I ate my words when …
I knew it would be Fenix, because he was old, but … my … my favorite Sim. ;_; I mean, he went out like a champ, he got the hula dancers and he wasn't sad or scared at all, but, but … look at Bela's face in this shot!
I knew there was a reason why I kept feeding them cowplant juice and elixir of life more than was reasonable. My oldest, bestest, happiest, most favorite couple in all of Sims. Noooooo. :(
(Also honestly, Grim, the BATHROOM?!? I couldn't even commemorate the scene properly in screenshots because everyone was piling into one tiny bathroom and it was a complete mess.)
MY EMOTIONS. D:
Sigh. So I made him a final resting spot in the garden he loved so much, and a few seconds later, I found Codex there, alone. Weeping. It was very touchi -
OKAY SRSLY DOG IT'S NOT EVEN BEEN THREE HOURS HAVE SOME CLASS.
I was really afraid that Bela would completely crumble now that his mate of 79 Sim days had passed away, but he was … pretty okay. I mean, he grieved and he cried but he overall kept it together and resumed his favorite hobbies, like blogging about his breakthroughs in robotics.
I'd like to point out though that his biggest wish still was to get his baby back. Oh, and he obviously missed their favorite pastime. :(
Not for long, though. Because two days later … (again with the Bathroom! Really, Grim? Really?!)
It was a little consoling, though, to know they'd be united again. Somehow.
Bela: "Wait, Fenix is there AND there's unlimited booze? I'm in!"
Ellen: "Yeah well, I still have to pee."
Lychee: "Yeah well, I still have to watch her pee. What?"
Farewell to my oldest, bestest, happiest, most favorite couple. I loved them so much. I wouldn't have even started this legacy thing if it hadn't been for these crazy kids and their unexpectedly awesome love connection. So. Thanks, you two.
Vork and Ellen are now heads of the household, along with Codex. And it's fine. Imagine how sweet this picture would be if Vork wasn't wearing his boxers!
Vork's now focusing on his second career as a writer. He'll be retiring as a rock star (lol) in a few days, and then he'll have all the time in the world for his saucy biography as well as all those fantasy epics he's always wanted to write since he was a dork in college.
And because I didn't want to end this update with those tragic deaths, here's some Vlad.
Vlad: "I GREW UP IN THIS TINY CORNER WHERE NOBODY SAW IT!"
Tbh I was totally ready to get bored with his kid, but then he did this:
Vlad: "Mmh. Soap water. I should probably drink it."
Vlad: "Interesting. I should drink more."
(I'm kidding. My actual thought was: "Lol I think I like this kid! :D")
So here's a heart-warming mother-and-son-moment to close out this update. ^^
Like I said. I think I like him.
That's all for now. And I have to admit that seeing Fenix and Bela go made me really sad. (I'm sure you haven't noticed because I was real subtle about it) But their family is still going strong, and most importantly, I can now send Salem to COLLEGE! YAY COLLEGE! Everyone knows that's my favorite thing to play. I can't wait. :D So stay tuned for more adventures, if you like!
Oh, and all my Simspams are under this tag for your convenience, if you want to take a look. =)